


This Is A Bad Plan But It’s AWESOME!: Feat. Disaster Squad

by fauxfire76



Category: The Secret World
Genre: Bad Plans, Drunken hijinks, Multi, New York City, Other, Toys R Us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 09:31:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13292001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauxfire76/pseuds/fauxfire76
Summary: Disaster Squad meet up with PixieBomb, drink, and raid a toy store.





	This Is A Bad Plan But It’s AWESOME!: Feat. Disaster Squad

**Author's Note:**

> (Apologies for any miss-characterizing)

“We are the worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrld! We are the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees…” PixieBomb drunkenly belted leaning on Gracebreaker, stumbling down 42nd Street. Grace just sighed holding up the very sloshed Pixie as Disaster Squad wandered through the streets of NYC, each in various stages of inebriation. Alivion leaned on Rhii, Maeve on Yumi, and Pixie leaned on the mostly sober Grace.

Earlier in the evening Pixie had messaged the rest of Disaster Squad with an address and the phrase “MEET ME HERE AT 6PM!!!!” It turned out to be a place in midtown Manhattan on West 44th Street called Jekyll and Hyde’s. It was the typical tourist trap gimmick restaurant but victorian horror themed with stuffed animal heads that talked, secret passages, costumed waitstaff, and bar stools that randomly sank into the floor. Upon arriving the rest of Disaster Squad, assuming a fight was in the offing, are instead greeted by the tiny purple blur of Pixie bouncing and shouting “Come on! Come on! Come on! You’re gonna love this!”

They then proceed to the bar, Pixie ordering a Long Island Iced Tea for the sheer alcohol content, Grace a rum and Coke but light on the Coke. Yumi winds up with a fuzzy naval (the drink you perv) at Pixie’s suggestion. Maeve chose a glass of red wine but Pixie insisted on getting the whole bottle. Alivion asks the bartender what is available with caffeine and at this Rhii nods loudly getting Alivion’s attention…

“Same?” Alivion asked when confronted with Rhii’s very enthusiastic nodding. Rhii just gave him a thumbs up. 

“Did we just become best friends!?” to which Rhii just responds with the non-verbal equivalent of “YEP!” and they both wind up with a Red Bull and vodka.

They then proceed to go through a couple rounds of drinks when it is noticed that Pixie is somehow now holding an entire bottle of tequila that is disturbingly… empty.

Grace is the first to concernedly ask the dreaded question “Where did the tequila go? Did the tequila end up in Pixie? This is not going to end well…”

Yumi holds up the empty shot glass still in hand, “Um… she didn’t have all of it. What? She shoved it at me.”

Pixie finally looked up from staring at the bottle, eyes glazed, grinning widely “I didn’t drink all of it... “ points toward Yumi, “I shared… weeeee ssssssplit it…. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”

After pouring an entire pot of coffee down Pixie, Disaster Squad was eventually able to stagger out into the streets and this is where we came in.

Disaster Squad gave up trying to get Pixie to stop singing as they made their way to Grand Central to catch the train into Brooklyn. As they got to Broadway Pixie stopped in her tracks and stood bolt upright.

“IDEA!!!!!” at this she turned and ran into the Toys R Us they’d nearly passed. She did remember to open the door first so did not leave a Pixie shaped hole in the glass of the door. The rest of Disaster Squad followed as quickly as they could.

When they caught up to Pixie they found her with her arms full of guns… Nerf guns this time. “Guys! NERF ANIMA!” she excitedly squeed. The rest of Disaster Squad was just drunk enough to either think this was a good idea, or at least be curious to see where this was going. They started searching the aisles for their own bit of nerfery.

Disaster Squad burst out of the front of the Toys R Us, leaving a wake of very confused staff and looking like the world’s most surreal Saturday morning cartoon. 

Pixie is in front spearheading this whole operation as it were, wearing a giant Donatello Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask “He’s the purple one!”, wielding a giant inflatable squeaky and slightly glowing anima infused hammer, with an also vaguely glowing Speak N Say strapped to her back. Alivion is somehow still managing to look all action hero badass with a neon orange Nerf shotgun in one hand and an oversized red plastic bat across his back. Rhii holds a robot dog in one hand, and a digital diary in the other. It’s only now they realize that they don’t speak, so how in Gaia are they going to open the damned thing…? Yumi is finding her electrical magic going a bit sideways, somehow owing to the robot lizard perched on her shoulder while she carries an anima filled super soaker that, if not for the glow, would look very unfortunate given that anima is rather yellowish. Grace is in back looking confused but still game for hijinks with a Baby’s First Tablet in one hand and a neon yellow Nerf pistol in the other. Finally Maeve has outdone everyone with the discovery that, for some reason, this particular store actually has in stock a giant Final Fantasy Mog head mask that they have promptly adopted. They’ve also managed to snag a Leap Frog electronic book and a massive stuffed labrador.

The lot of them posed dramatically on the street, wind blowing appropriately for some reason though the weather was clear, before Pixie shouts “CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!” and they all run into the night.

Ian’s mind slowly rose to the surface as the frantic pounding eventually pulled him back to the land of the living. “Ugh… what the fuck? Who the hell? Where the shit? FUCK! OUCH!” as he falls off the couch and onto the floor. The knocking that he now realized was something at his door continued as he took stock of the situation. “All right! All right! I’m coming! Gimmie a minute! Fucking hell….” Ian pulled himself up off the floor and stumbled to the door of his, for lack of a better word, shitty, apartment, unlocked and started to open the door. If Ian had been a bit more sober, he might have actually looked through the peephole first but he didn’t and so was taken by surprise when the mass of limbs, anima glowing toy weaponry, and cackling voices that was Disaster Squad tumbled into his apartment like a tidal wave of hijinks to wind up in a heap on the floor…

“What the fuck? What the fuck!? What? The? Fuck?”

 

Grace, having landed on top of most of everyone else, was the one to register Ian’s state of confusion first… “I blame Pixie!”

 

Ian groaned loudly, facepalmed, and stated resignedly “I am not surprised by this in any way.”

From somewhere toward the bottom of the pile of bees a voice warbled “The cow goes moo…”


End file.
